or … Putting your neck on the line
When I’m not creating video, I’ll be deep in the second draft of my first novel (until its ready to publish anyway) and this tip works for being in front of the camera as well as writing.
I used to want to be liked. I still do, just not in quite the same needy way. I thought one way of doing that was to agree with people. Not only did that mean I became a bit of a ‘yes’ person it also made me extremely lazy because I never had to decide what I really thought about things.
What I’ve noticed as I’ve become more interested in fully sharing my truth is that when I share what I really think, feel, believe, make up…. other people are more interested in engaging with me. Deep and meaningful dialogue starts, and off we go on a fascinating exploration.
I don’t need to be aggressive or self-righteous. I’m simply putting an idea forward just like I may put a new meal on the table. Its something to be tried out, tasted, tested, enjoyed…. accepted or rejected. No matter which, in truth.
This last week I realised that the opening chapters of my novel, which are posted on a peer review site, were being received as a romantic story. It’s not. It’s theme is powerful and transformational. A number of explicit violent sexual scenes take it way out of that genre but they were to be found two thirds of the way through. My decision to place the first of those scenes at the very beginning has been a courageous step for me – something akin to taking not only my knickers off in public but allowing people inside my head to the place of my deepest fears. I have never felt so vulnerable. I know it has far more impact now….for my potential readers, as well as for me. When I wrote it, a part of me wanted to tone it down, make it far more acceptable, but it would never say what I want it to say if I did that.
When it comes to sharing our wisdom on video then – mmmm, do we want to be of the pre-packaged persuasion, dumbed down, and ‘acceptablised’ or do we want to express our unique, bold and lionhearted selves? It has taken me ages to be more opinionated, and I have to choose this every single conversation I’m in. I don’t always do this, but I am more fierce with myself every day.
To be honestly engaging I think its worth putting our neck on the line, sharing our deeper selves, our deepest truths. So what have you kept in reserve, not quite daring, but itching, to share?
Go for it! Put your neck on the line.
Here is a video blog I made just a year ago on sharing the shame I’d felt about my perceived failure.
Anne Scott
October 10, 2014 — 8:55 am
You are big cat courageous Francesca. Seeing you grow into your roar is amazing. And reflects back to me how much I have to learn. Love your nails too!
roardio
October 10, 2014 — 9:49 am
Thank you Anne for being such a staunch supporter of mine. I love the way you perceive me and then share this in the world. This is a fantastic journey to be on, don’t you think?
Claire Gaudry
October 10, 2014 — 6:42 pm
Here’s to throwing knickers in the air! Wow, brilliant of simplicity and very powerful. Congratulations!
Francesca Cassini
October 10, 2014 — 7:35 pm
Shall we have a ‘throwing knickers in the air’ party Claire? Sounds like an interesting event we could create :-0
Junie Swadron
October 11, 2014 — 3:00 am
You are lovely. You have a beautiful, gentle and courageous strength. Few would choose to do what you have chosen. I can hardly wait to read your novel.
roardio
October 11, 2014 — 8:11 am
Thank you for your lovely comment Junie – I can’t wait for you to read the book either!
Kylie weir
October 13, 2014 — 1:27 pm
Yes I agree to be engaging you need to be engaged in what your saying, which takes connecting to your true authentic self and your passion.
Lottie Moore
October 13, 2014 — 2:27 pm
A great post – and a poignant reminder that it is often when we are most vulnerable that we are actually at our most powerful too.
Great use of video too – thank you.
roardio
October 13, 2014 — 2:30 pm
Yes that whole vulnerability = power is quite awesome!
Danielle
October 13, 2014 — 9:57 pm
Francesca I love your use of metaphors!
I totally relate to your trepidation at revealing that deep part of yourself.
I’m a huge advocate of learning to be more honest with everyone in our life. I believe most of us spend so much time behaving in a way that avoids perceived judgement. If we just spoke our truth we would begin to also understand the other persons ‘real’ position and our actions would be far less reactive. We could all start to act in a way that respects what is important to us and those in our lives.
Here’s to you for inspiring us all to find our truth and reveal it to the world.
roardio
October 14, 2014 — 8:00 am
Really appreciate your comment Danielle. It would be amazing if we could all feel free enough to be more deeply honest. I still have such a way to go. Being honest and revealing myself on camera and in my writing is weirdly still easier than in person on a more intimate level.